Uncommon Nonsense
by LarielRomeniel
Summary: "We're all mad here." Just some fluffy belated Halloween fun. Part of my"The Waiting Room" series and mentions past stories in that continuity, so those are recommended reading first.


AUTHOR'S NOTE: I know, I'm late for Halloween. Meant to have this done last weekend, then saw the news about Wentworth on Twitter, and it threw me out of the mood for a bit.

Ah, well. Enjoy the fluff in the meantime. This story is part of my "Waiting Room" continuity, and follows "Points for Creativity."

Thanks as always to Jael for the beta!

* * *

Rip sighed as he looked at the outfit Miranda had laid out for him on the bed. "Must I really wear this?"

Miranda chuckled as she pinned her headpiece into place. "Yes, you must! You have to get into the spirit of things, Rip!"

He made a pained noise, and she chuckled again. Satisfied with her headpiece, she turned to him and patted him on the cheek. "Come on, now! I thought you'd given up keeping a stick up your-"

"Miranda!"

"Mummy! Daddy! Are you ready yet ?" Jonas called from the staircase, excitement mixed with impatience in his voice. He had been dressed and ready to go for the past hour.

Rip sighed again and began to change.

* * *

Len smirked up at Sara as he showed two small boys the "correct" technique for using a plastic flamingo as a croquet mallet. "Okay, buddy, your turn," he said, handing the flamingo over to one of the boys and smiling as the child hit the ball through the wicket. "Tiger Woods, eat your heart out," he said, leaving the children to their play and making his way over to his wife.

"Nice form," she said.

Len bowed, flourishing the red cape of his costume, to the delight of some other children who were waiting their turn at the game. "Thank you, my queen," he said in an exaggerated voice that made them giggle. "I've been practicing."

She stepped closer, offering him a cup of punch. "Not the form I meant," she said in a sultry tone too low for the youngsters to hear, while while looking him up and down with a gaze that was just this side of lascivious.

"Now, now, this is a children's fundraiser. Let's keep it G-rated," he said in an equally low voice, taking the cup while once again admiring her form-fitting black dress, scattered with red hearts that matched those on his own doublet and black cap. He bent down to murmur in her ear, "Although, with that outfit, maybe PG-13. Once the Hunters get here, what do you say we slip away somewhere and up the rating?"

Sara chuckled. "You know you don't have to steal kisses anymore, Len."

"I'm the Knave of Hearts. I have to steal something ," he said with a smirk, moving even closer while she tilted her face toward him.

There were kisses in G-rated Disney flicks, right?

But before their lips could touch, there was a voice behind him. "I've got to hand it to you two, a Disney Halloween was definitely the way to go."

Len sighed and turned away from Sara to see Barry Allen in a striped orange coverall, hand-drawn whiskers on his face. Quashing a momentary urge to wrap the speedster's Tigger-tail around his neck, he drawled, "Glad you approve."

Barry grinned and nodded, looking around at the families crowding the STAR Labs public hall. "It's definitely a hit, and it's going to really help with next summer's science camp." He paused, then said, "That is, as long as Mickey and Jonas don't move from freezing things to blowing them up."

"Not letting them live that one down, are you?" Sara asked with a snicker.

"No more than you're letting Mickey live down last Christmas!" Barry laughed. "Listen, you guys go have fun with your kids, and I'll run this game until Rip and Miranda get here."

"Awfully kind of you, " Len said, offering his arm to Sara and looking down at her with a suggestively raised eyebrow.

Barry caught the expression. "I said 'with your kids,' Len. Haven't you and Sara traumatized Cisco often enough with sneaking off to his lab?"

"Enough?" Len mused. "I don't think it's ever enough."

He coughed a little when Sara elbowed him in the ribs. "Thanks, Barry," she said sweetly. "Miranda texted to say they're on their way, so it won't be long before you can get back to Iris and the twins."

Barry held up his hands… er, paws. "Oh, I don't mind."

Len and Sara exchanged a smirk. "Three-year-old twins getting to be a bit much for you there, Barry?" Len asked.

Barry rolled his eyes. "Let's just say this…" he waved around the noisy gathering, "passes for peace and quiet these days!"

With a sympathetic chuckle, Len and Sara left Barry to run "The Queen's Croquet Game," while they wandered the floor where their friends and fellow heroes were busy supervising other games.

Iris, dressed as Winnie the Pooh, nodded to them from where she was supervising a Hunny Pot Toss. The Allen twins, dressed as Piglet and Rabbit, raced by, making Len wonder if Stein was mistaken about the metahuman gene not becoming active until puberty. They dashed across the floor to where Ray, in a Sheriff Woody costume, was running a horseshoe game.

A little more wandering through the happy crowd led them to their own children at Cisco's Pin-The-Tail-On-Eeyore booth. Mickey was spinning Laurel around for her turn. Lisa sat nearby with three-month-old Dante tucked safely into the pouch of her Kanga costume. In front of her, eleven-month-old Joy was living up to her caterpillar costume, crawling on a floor mat.

Len winked at his sister, then smirked when Cisco yelped suddenly - Laurel had tried to pin a tail onto his Eeyore costume instead of the Eeyore poster on the wall.

"Sorry, Uncle Cisco!" Laurel exclaimed as she pushed her blindfold up. She glared at her brother. "Mickey, you pointed me the wrong way!"

Mickey pushed the brim of his enormous hat up. "I'm the Mad Hatter! I'm supposed to do crazy things!"

"Let's save the crazy for when you're not playing with pointy objects, okay?" Cisco advised. "You want to try again, Alice?"

Laurel… er, Alice … nodded. "Thank you, sir!" she said with an inflection that made Len frown slightly.

Cisco handed her another tail and resettled the blindfold over her eyes. Her blue dress and white pinafore flared slightly as he turned her three times before carefully aiming her toward the poster. She took a couple of steps forward and pinned the tail to the poster, missing the cartoon Eeyore's bottom by a few inches.

"Nice try!" Cisco told her as she removed the blindfold. "If only you'd done that the last time around!"

"I'm dreadfully sorry, Uncle Cisco," Laurel said with a little curtsy and that odd voice again. Len leaned in toward Sara while Mickey took his turn.

"Is it me, or is she imitating Jonas' accent?"

Sara began to chuckle, softly at first but then it became a full-on laughing fit. Len just watched her with a curiously raised eyebrow until she collected herself again.

"Just remembering something from our days chasing after Vandal Savage," she explained, brushing tears of laughter from her eyes. "Kendra once told me I was starting to sound just like you."

Len frowned. "Not sure I like what you're implying there, Sara."

Sara patted his cheek. "You're worrying too much, Len. She's only five."

"Didn't you tell me you had a crush on Queen when you were only five?"

"Boss! Look who finally got here!"

Sara blew out a little sigh of relief as Mick strode up, people making way for the wings of his Buzz Lightyear costume. Len could see some pairs of furry feet following in Mick's wake. With a smirk, Mick stepped aside for a full reveal, and this time it was Len who burst into laughter.

Jonas was dressed as the Cheshire Cat, and Miranda was the March Hare. But Rip Hunter, former Time Master, took the cake. He stood there clad in purple pants, a yellow waistcoat and a red bow tie and jacket, holding a large toy stop watch. It was all topped off with a pair of fluffy white ears perched on top of his head. Under the ears, Rip's expression was one of exasperation.

"Well, at least you're in character!" Len chuckled. "Late for a very important date!"

"And to think I used to believe Time Masters were never late!" Sara added.

Jonas tugged at his mother's arm. "Can I go with Mickey and Laurel?"

Miranda nodded. "Have fun!"

Laurel grabbed Jonas' hand and dragged him into the crowd, Mickey right behind them. Len rolled his eyes and leaned over to Sara. "Still not liking it," he murmured. Straightening up, he said, "Come on, Rip. Barry's been minding the store while you've been dawdling."

"It's not entirely my fault!" Rip objected. The two couples started walking back toward the croquet game, with Mick following along.

"Rip, everything's always your fault," Len countered.

"It's a rule," Mick agreed. "Right up there with, 'Don't time travel to someplace you've already been.'"

Giggling, Miranda shook her head, setting her brown ears wiggling. "No, but really, it's a bit my fault. I was a little… indisposed."

"Are you okay?" Sara asked with some concern.

Miranda smiled. "I'm fine, Sara. But… these rabbit costumes are, well, appropriate, when you consider what rabbits are known for."

"Hopping around eating carrots?" Mick asked.

"Catch up, partner!" Len said as Sara hugged Miranda. After a moment, Mick did catch up, and slapped Rip on the back so hard it knocked Rip's rabbit ears off.

"Congratulations, Englishman!"

Len helped Rip get his balance and handed him his headpiece back. "Guess you've figured out what to do with your future, huh?"

Rip put the ears back on. "It appears so," he said, watching Sara and Miranda walk ahead of them, arm in arm, heads together as they talked. "But sometimes I wonder whether I've gone mad."

Len chuckled. "Oh, you have gone mad. Completely bonkers." He leaned in toward Rip. "But I'll tell you a secret. All the best people are."

* * *

ADDITIONAL AUTHOR'S NOTE: Funny thing... I'm not actually a huge Lewis Carroll fan, even though I directed my high school production of "Alice in Wonderland." But I couldn't resist the idea of these costumes and to use that last quote.

I do hope to write more in this continuity. I still have "In Case I Never Told You" open, and I do want to write the rescue of Rip's family. And I'm kicking around an idea for the next generation of Legends.


End file.
